Nivea Ad?

This is old material, but I was reminded of it yesterday when I found the giant glass jar of Nivea that I worshipped before I made my own lotion.  That jar always reminds me of this story that took place last summer.

I had completed the many odd things on my "to do" list one fine afternoon, and I had just sat down on the front porch with a drink and a magazine.  Lovely weather, etc etc, after about five minutes I realize: it's too quiet.  No one has bothered me or asked me for anything (usually random items that mean nothing to disguise the simple fact they just want me standing.  They are uncomfortable when I am sitting because clearly I am not serving THEM).  Anyway, silence is not golden in a house with two small children, it is suspicious. 

Just as I am about to get up and go check on them, Ashlee wanders out to the front porch looking very pleased.  She says "Mom, come and see Holly!  She's painting herself white!  Like art!  On your bed!"

Now, let's pull a Tosh.O and do a blog breakdown.  NO PART of that statement is good!  And each part is slightly worse. 

First:  "Come and see Holly" - oh no, that means she is doing something that entertains Ashlee, translating to some sort of banned activity.
Second: "she's painting herself white" - this is bad.  My first instinct is to ask With What is she painting herself white?
Third: "like art" - art involves a canvas.  WHAT is she using as the canvas?  Herself? Herself and something else?
Last: "on your bed!" - ..................

Needless to say, as someone who dislikes doing laundry particularly giant comforters that don't fit in the machines, I was quickly off the chair and following Ashlee to our bedroom.  I am confronted with both children, infinitely pleased with themselves, and the following:

The room smelled of Nivea for months after that but her skin was lovely.
KND